Humour!

JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT!

Honorary Secretary
& Treasurer

Terry Gill
5 Sherring Close
Bracknell
Berks
RG42 2LD
United Kingdom

Tel: 01344 640573
Fax: 01344 640207

Got some light hearted humour you wish with us? Send them to: terrytegill@aol.com.

Little story from USA

Rich 70 year-old retiree breezes into the Country Club on Saturday evening with a gorgeous 25 year-old redhead who is whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

His pals were amazed and got him on one side as soon as they could.

"How did you get that trophy girlfriend?"

"That's not my girlfriend, she's my new wife"

"What!! How did you get her to marry you?" they said.

One chipped in, "I know, you lied about your age and told her you were 50"

"No, I didn't. I told her I was 90"

FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.

The Times Cookery Page

So the old man lies dying, with his family gathered around him. "Papa, Papa, is there anything I can do for you?" asks the oldest son. "Yes" the old man replies. "I'd like a cup of black tea and a slice of Auntie Sonia's cheesecake." The son hurries off and returns with a cup of tea.

"Sorry, Papa" he says "But Auntie Sonia says the cheescake is for the funeral!"

website - UBP